One of the issues I've had to contend with in the Bible is the role of women.
Now before there I am decried as a feminist and alpha female (which I'm not), let me explain where I'm coming from. Throughout the Bible, I have noticed God's penchant to put men in a position of authority and leadership... not the woman. Additionally, there are many verses which apply to firstborns being specially chosen by God, but they tend to be male firstborns... and that's a completely different subject which I may or may not ever get into.
The motif I'm trying to get at here is my initial responses to God's choice of men over women for authority and leadership purposes and the consequent delineation between men and women's roles. To be perfectly clear, I don't believe this elevation of man to his rightful position of authority is unjust or a denigration of women by God; in fact, I believe God has a very high opinion and respect of women throughout the Bible as can be noted from the responsibilities He has placed on the women.
A woman's responsibilities may not seem as important or as demanding or as stressful as a man's responsibilities, but I would argue that the woman often has a harder lot in life then the man if she is to do things according to God's standards.
The argument by women in today's society is that men don't do anything so they must. This has led to a militant force of women sweeping the globe and infiltrating even the most discriminatory fields and areas of life, business, military, etc. Since man is not being a man, woman must fill his place. Women complain about how men lack initiative, drive, focus, responsibility; how they live their lives in complacency, seemingly spineless, lackluster creatures - which drives the woman insane.
Women have a tendency to see something that needs to be done or a problem that needs to be solved and if the man doesn't do it, obviously the woman must. It is here that women make the most terrible mistake of all; the mistake of impatience and usurpation of the man's role in society.
God made men to be leaders and to be the heads of whatever body they are leading. Their rule begins with their family and moves up from there: work groups, companies, governments, states, countries. The man has been uniquely equipped to rule and to be in command. However, their ability to be men seems directly linked to the amount of respect, honor, and deference women show to them.
Men need to be given a chance to be the leaders they were created to be.
And this is where the woman must realize when to step aside. It may take the man longer to realize what the problem is, it may take him longer to take any action. If a woman immediately throws herself into the problem and attempts to solve it herself, she removes the necessity for the man to do anything at all. Because of the intensity that arises from a woman trying to do a man's work, it is often more convenient for the man just to stay out of the way.
Result: a society of women who are frazzled beyond all belief as they try to juggle their responsibilities as mother and homemaker with the man's responsibilities of leadership and provision. On the other side is a society of men whose masculinity has been trampled by a stampede of high heels and a flurry of impatience and disrespect, leading them to a life as a target of disdain and disgust - why bother?
It is my belief that if women would stand down and suppress the frequently overwhelming desire to DO something, men would move forward to fill the gaps. If women would stop despising men and focusing on what they don't do and start showing respect and deference for the laudable things they DO do, men would blossom and begin to reclaim their manhood. If women would expect men to be men and to take charge and not only wait for them to do so, but encourage them as they moved toward that goal, the blood of manhood would once again run through their veins.
I believe women have a much more difficult role in life... we are to be supportive and respectful.
This can be one of the hardest things a woman can ever do; to stand back and wait for the man to fill the gap he was uniquely created to fill. This is not a wimpy role, it does not detract from womanhood to do this. In fact, I believe it will elevate men's opinion of woman and instead of seeing and treating her as a poorly-behaved man, he will begin to see and treat her as a woman - completely different from him, yet uniquely suited to complement, not compete, with him throughout life.
It is time for women to stand down and allow men to stand up... they will if we let them.
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3 comments:
There are profound truths here.
Having spent a great deal of my life, as a man, in situations where I was not expected to lead, and wasn't trained or mindful of it, I can speak from experience to state that the natural result of a lack of expectation to lead is a tendency to lead away from leadership!
What this means is that the propensity and capacity for leadership will be expressed, whether we like it or not, and if we aren't given edifying models for those leadership roles, then we will lead those will follow us into the dust. Again, I know this from experience as well.
I cannot say that a man's job is harder than that of a woman. Nor can I say the woman's is harder than the man's job. Each has a specific role to play.
From my perspective, it looks like it is much harder for the man to lead than it is for the woman. But that is because the gross majority of leadership role models, that I identify and relate with, have been predominantly women. Yes, I had an amazing relationship with my mother, and the result is simply a profound respect for the capacities of women-kind, but less of a respect for my own. The result of my modeling experiences is simply that, for most of my life, to lead meant to exemplify those sterling qualities that seemed to reside predominantly in the women I knew.
So where does that leave a man who wants to strike out as a prince, to discover their identity, and to stand apart from everything they know, to break new ground? Fantasy.
In fact, I had not realized it until the paragraph above, but it may have been why I was so attracted to that realm – I could truly create an identity for myself that had a source of modeling, one that I could find ample modeling for, and one at which I could not fail.
So which is easier? That task which a person undertakes is easiest for which they have the most identifiable modeling. So, if you’re a woman who has been under the headship of a man who can clearly lead, you will naturally feel drawn to leadership roles, whether the person who owns the station, or the station itself. You will respect that role. Likewise, if you’re a man who has been under the headship of a man who did not lead well, you will identify with a position of servitude or rebellion, based on whatever other modeling is available.
Am I blaming parents? I am blaming parents, but not exclusively, and certainly not singularly. It is also our responsibility, as rational, reasoning adults, to choose how we interact with the world. The onus is on us.
And we can’t not make the decision to act out our modeling. Either we make it consciously, rationally, and patiently, or we make it haphazardly, apathetically, and destructively
So the question, instead, is: whose modeling will you appropriate?
I think this is an interesting post, and I really appreciate Jason's comment.
I believe this is one reason those fantasy/romance novels are very popular... people are looking for the ideal man that comes in and rescues the woman from her dire predicament.
In Ephesians 5:22 - 5:33 it is states that wives should submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Husbands should love their wives as Christ loves the church. I think that it is put this way, not because women should not love their husbands, but because honoring them is the thing we need to be reminded to do. Loving your husband is easy for wives. It comes very naturally to women because we are born nurtures. Honoring my husband, however, is less intuitive. Same thing for husbands. They are told to love their wives because they need a reminder to do so. It's easier for men to honor than it is to love as Christ loved the church. Not that we all shouldn't both love and respect each other, but that each gender has ingrained in them certain things that make it easier to do one or the other.
In other thoughts, many times when the balance is undone - when the wife has three jobs to support her husband and kids, or the husband has a girlfriend on the side - it seems that trouble is not far behind.
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